You are your child’s mentor.
Written by: Timothy Makokha
How does it feel to be a parent? Being a parent is one of
the most pleasurable things in this world. The destiny of a child lies in the
hands of a parent/guardian, in other words the power to alter the behavior of
your child is with you.
Sometimes when dealing with children, words alone are not
enough. Show rather than tell what you exactly want your child to learn.
Parenting involves instilling a culture in the child. When
this young one grows up, there is a likelihood that he/she will treat others
and/or their children the same way you did to him/her. Provide a favorable
atmosphere for your child to exercise self-direction yet set limits so that
they can develop self control.
Sometimes I like the Swahili saying ‘mtoto umleavyo ndivyo
akuavyo’ (life of a child depends on the way he/she is brought up). That’s why
in some cases when a person become a public nuisance, people question about the
person who raised him/her. At times the concept of a teacher and the school
someone went through is questioned depending on character of a person.
Don’t wait until too late in order to shift blame on others.
Teachers have a role to play in shaping individual but other partners including
parents, and the community at large should as well do their part to raise
responsible citizens.
Towards the end of last year we received news through the
standard news paper that a single mother from Kisii County burnt her three
teenage daughters with a hot panga on the buttocks. How do you expect such girls to handle their
children in future when they grow up? Which attitude did they develop towards their
mother?
Whenever things get tough, it helps to get back to the
basics to address issues from the very beginning and build upwards towards a
desired solution.
A child in most cases will see her own parents as role model;
will always look unto the eyes of the mum/dad when doing anything to see the
kind of reaction that will come from you as a parent. Your character as a
parent would definitely have a bearing on your child’s behavior.
As much as it is advisable to love children, but it should
be with moderation in the sense that too much love can spoil a child.
Adapt your parenting style to fit your child. The world is
changing and one should not expect own child to behave the way our grand
fathers were brought up. Although care must be taken with moderation and
precaution to avoid conflicting interests between parents and children.
As a parent, it is important that you set rules governing
yourself and the family at large. After setting rules, then be consistent in
following your standing orders. At the same time, ensure you have explained
your rules clearly to members of your family, introduce them to your child as
early as possible.
Being strict is different from harshness. Avoid harshness at
all costs in order to create good rapport with your child. Be very careful
while administering negative reinforcement to your child, take time first to
explain the mistake made before administering punishment which should be
appropriate depending on the age of the child. Combine affection and discipline
to reduce negative traits in a child.
Praise a child who does anything good or behave well. If
possible, reward a child by buying him/her a present immediately after an act
in order for the child to make a connection between your reward and what she/he
had done.
Child upbringing is a God given privilege which should not
be abused whatsoever by anyone. Treat the young ones with the care and
affection they deserve in order to create better citizens and future leaders.
