Common mistakes in journalistic writing

Common mistakes in journalistic writing

(Words, phrases sentences & writing rules)

Absolutes: Adjectives that are absolute have no degrees. They either are, or they aren't. For example, a building can't be partly destroyed. Destroyed means there's nothing left of the building. A "partly destroyed" building is really a damaged building or even a severely damaged building. Similarly, something can't be "more unique" or "less unique." Unique means one of a kind.

Action verb: An action verb conveys that its subject acted somehow, that the subject did something more than "be." For example: Sally ran. Sally is running. Sally will run. Sally jumped. Salley had been jumping. Sally had jumped. Each of the verbs in these short senteces is an action verb. Subjects of nonaction verbs do nothing but exist. For example: Sally was tired. Sally is short. Sally and her friends are nice. Sally and her friends will be at the party. It's best to avoid such inactive verbs in writing.

Addresses: Much depends on whether the address includes a house number. Follow these rules:

·         Abbreviate "Street," "Avenue" and "Boulevard" only when these words appear with a numbered address. Like this: 119 Oak St., 119 Oak Ave., 119 Oak Blvd. But: "I live on Main Street," or "The accident happened on Thompson Avenue."

·         Lowercase and pluralize designations like "streets," "avenues" etc. when used with two or more street names. For example: Oak and Madison streets. Kenyatta and Haille Sellasie Avenue

·         Spell out all other street designations: 119 Oak Court, 119 Oak Lane, 119 Oak Place, etc.

·         Abbreviate compass points in a street name if there's a numbered address. Otherwise, spell the compass point out. Like this: 119 E. Oak Lane. East Oak Lane.

Affect/Effect: "Affect" is the verb. "Effect" is the noun. For example: "The movie's special effects (noun) positively affected (verb) its realism."

Ages: Always use figures, unless the age is the first word of a sentence. eg. The 5-year-old girl. The girl, 10. The 2-year-old.If the age is the first word of a sentence, spell it out or rewrite the sentence so the age is no longer the first word. For example: "Twenty-four-year-old Joe Ndiragu said ..." or "Joe Ndiragu, 24, said ..." d                 

Alphabet soup: A term for a story heavily laden with acronyms like KA,KETWA,UASU, FBI, etc. Alphabet soup can result when an author spells out the name of an organization on first reference and then uses the organization's acronym to refer to the organization throughout the rest of the story. It's usually better to adopt one- or two-word "tag" for the organization and use the tag instead of the acronym. For example: "The Kenya National Union of Teachers has endorsed Wakoli's re-election bid. The union, in a statement released Friday....

a.m./p.m.: Note periods and lowercase. Also, avoid redundancies like "9 a.m. this morning" or "6:30 p.m. tonight." See also: time.

Antecedent: An antecedent of a pronoun is the word the pronoun stands for. For example, in the sentence "The police officer drew his weapon," the pronoun is "his," and the antecedent of "his" is "officer."

·         Whenever you use a pronoun, you must make absolutely sure that the pronoun has one and only one possible antecedent. If you don't, the result can get pretty confusing. Consider this sentence: "The police officer wrestled the suspect for control of his gun." There's no way to tell whether the gun belonged to the officer or to the suspect. Why? Because the pronoun "his" has two possible antecedents, "officer" and "suspect." A rewrite -- in this case, one that eliminates the pronoun -- makes the meaning clear: "The police officer and the suspect wrestled for control of the officer's gun" or "The police officer and the suspect wrestled for control of the suspect's gun," depending on which you want to say.

·         Also, make sure a pronoun and its antecedent match in number. For example, in the sentence, "The team played their best," the pronoun "their" and its antecedent, "team," don't match in number. "Team" is singular (even though it is made up of several individuals) and "their" is plural. There are two easy ways to correct the sentence: 1. "The team played its best." 2. "The team's members played their best."

Appositive phrase. An appositive phrase is a phrase that comes after a noun and describes the noun. Like this: "John Ndiragu, mayor of Nairobi for 12 years, is retiring."

·         The phrase "mayor of Nairobi for 12 years" is an appositive and must be set off by commas.

·         Note that appositive phrases should be avoided in broadcast writing. Instead of writing "John Ndiragu mayor of Nairobi ,, said today that ...," write, "Nairobi Mayor John Ndiragu said today that ..."                 

Attribution: Attribution is a phrase indicating the source of some piece of information. The source can be a person, but it also can be something inanimate like a document.

·         In print newswriting, attribution, if included in a lead, should be placed toward the end of the lead. It should never be used as the lead's first verb. The first verb should focus instead on the most important "what" of the story. Usually, that's not the fact that something was said. For example, in the lead, "Mayor John Ndiragu announced Friday that Eastleigh’s crime dropped 20 percent last year," the first verb, announced, suggests that the single most important aspect of the story is that Smith announced something. But he's the mayor - he announces stuff all the time. A better first verb would focus the lead on what he announced: " Eastleigh’s crime rate dropped 20 percent last year, Mayor John Ndiragu announced Friday."

·         Incidentally, the exact opposite is true for a broadcast lead. Broadcast leads routinely use an attribution word as the first verb. The idea is that when people are listening to - as opposed to reading - a story, they need a little time to tune in. So a broadcast lead about the crime rate drop will read, "Mayor John Ndiragu announced Friday that Eastleigh’s crime rate dropped 20 percent last year."

·         When attribution follows a statement, introduce the attribution with a comma. Like this: "I have vetoed the bill," the president said. He will veto the bill, the president said. The president has vetoed the bill, according to a statement released Friday. But: The president said he will veto the bill.

·         What should be attributed? Attribute assertions that represent judgments or opinions. Don't attribute known facts. For example, "The rose is red." But "The rose is beautiful, he said."

Backing into the lead.You "back into" the lead of a print news story when you put the newsiest information at the end of the lead instead of at the beginning. It's usually the result of putting one or more of the lead's other elements -- the "when," "where" or attribution, for example -- in front of the "what." For example, "Police Chief Ali said Tuesday that a door left unlocked at Kamiti Prison allowed three prisoners to escape." Clearly, the escape is the newsiest piece of information in the lead. Many readers will miss it, though, because it has been stuck at the end of the lead. A better version would be: "Two prisoners escaped from Kamiti Prison on Tuesday after someone left a door unlocked, according to Police Chief Ali . Choosing a first verb that captures the main "what" of the story will usually help you avoid this problem. 

Blind lead: Write a blind lead when the person in the lead is not well known to the people who will be reading the story. If John Ndiragu is a nobody and was injured in a car wreck, for example, don't write, "John Ndiragu suffered injuries in a two-car wreck on Moi Street Friday afternoon" for your lead. Write "A man suffered injuries in a two-car wreck on Moi Street Friday afternoon" and save the man's name (and address) for later in the story. If the person in the lead is well-known among readers, though, go ahead and put the name in the lead: "City Mayor John Ndiragu suffered injuries in a two-car wreck on Moi Street Friday afternoon."

The "blind lead" technique applies to attribution as well. Attributing the essense of some announcement to "Deputy Mayoral Assistant Joe Otito" in a lead wastes a lot of words. Readers are unlikely to recognize the name of obscure bureaucrats. All you really need to do is attribute to "a deputy mayoral assistant" or, even simpler, "a mayoral spokesman," then give the assistant's name later in the story.

Brevity: In general, media writing values brevity: short words, short sentences, short paragraphs, short stories. Why? Media compete for people's time. The more time media take to use, the less likely people are to use media. In short, people get bored or tired when reading long sentences, grafs and stories.

Buried lead: When a news story fails to present the most newsworthy information at its very beginning, the story's lead is said to have been "buried." The metaphor alludes to the idea that the most important information has been "buried" somewhere down in the story beneath several sentences or paragraphs of less important information.

Capitalization: Generally, restrict capitalization to:

·         Formal titles used directly in front of someone's name. For example: "According to Mayor John Ndiragu, the city needs to develop a traffic plan." But note the lack of capitalization in "According to the mayor, the city needs to develop a traffic plan" and in "According to John Ndiragu, mayor, the city needs to develop a traffic plan.

·         Proper nouns, such as:

·         The name or names of an organization: "The City Council awarded the contract to Adopt a light Contracting Services. Jason, a spokesman for Adopt a Light, said the company is pleased to have won the contract and will begin the work next week. (Note that generic references like "the company" are not capitalized.)

·         Names of people.

·         Names of buildings: "The meeting will be held in Peck Hall."

·         Names of months.

·         First word of a sentence.

·         Note that compass points like north, south, east and west are not capitalized unless you're using the word to refer to a region of a country. Like this: I think the West is beautiful. I grew up in the South. The North won the Civil War. He attended a prestigious Northeastern college.

Claim: Use the verb "claim" only when there's some fairly obvious reason to doubt that what is being claimed is true. For example: "The suspect claimed he was innocent even though police had found his fingerprints on the doorknob.

Clauses/phrases: The difference between the two is this: A clause has both a subject and a verb. A phrase doesn't. For example, "The dog has short ears" is a clause. But "The dog with the short ears" is a phrase.

Comma Use:

Comma after an introductory phrase or clause: Place a comma between any introductory phrase or clause and the rest of the sentence. For example: "Because the power was out, I lit a candle." The comma separates the introductory phrase, "Because the power was out" from the rest of the sentence, "I lit a candle." Also, a single word can form an "introductory phrase," as in "Next, I started a fire in the fireplace." In this example, the comma separates "Next" from the rest of the sentence.

·         Comma before conjunction: Put a comma before a conjunction (and, but, or, nor, for, yet) that joins two independent clauses. An independent clause is a clause that has both a subject and a verb and can make sense if it stands alone. Otherwise, omit the comma. For example: "I (subject) phoned (verb) the police chief, and (conjunction) Jane (subject) went (verb) to interview the mayor." But "I (subject) phoned (verb) the police chief and (conjunction) went (verb. But its subject, "I," is on the other side of the conjunction) to see the mayor."  

·         Comma between equal adjectives: Use commas to separate a series of adjectives equal in rank. Here's a hint: If you can replace the commas with the word "and" without altering the meaning of what's being said, then the commas are appropriate. For example, "A thoughtful, precise manner" is the same as "A thoughtful *and* precise manner." Omit the comma in front of the last adjective before a noun if the adjective outranks its predecessor because the adjective is part of a noun phrase. For example, "A cheap fur coat." No comma is needed after "cheap," because "fur," although an adjective, goes with "coat" to form the noun phrase "fur coat." You wouldn't say, "A cheap *and* fur coat.”

·         Comma in a series: In news writing, omit the comma before the conjunction in a series of things. Like this: "I'd like eggs, toast and bacon," not "I'd like eggs, toast, and bacon."

·         Comma with a nonessential clause: A nonessential clause is a clause that, if omitted from the sentence, will not alter the meaning of the sentence. Such clauses must be set off by commas. For example, in the sentence, "Reporters, who do not read the stylebook, should not criticize their editors," the clause "who do not read the stylebook" is presented as a nonessential clause. Accordingly, it means the sentence is asserting that all reporters fail to read the stylebook. Omitting the commas, as in "Reporters who do not read the stylebook should not criticize their editors" presents the clause "who do not read the stylebook" as an essential clause that limits the sentence's admonition about criticizing editors to those particular reporters who don't read the stylebook. The reporters who do read the stylebook, the sentence suggests, can criticize all they like.

·         Comma with a nonessential phrase: A nonessential phrase is a phrase that, if omitted from the sentence, would not alter the sentence's meaning. Such phrases must be set off by a comma. For example, "Indian corn, or maize, was harvested." The phrase "or maize" is supplemental information. It tells the reader about an alternative term for corn. Removing the phrase would not alter the meaning of the sentence "Indian corn was harvested." If the phrase is essential to the meaning of the sentence, don't use a comma. Also, the sentence, "The two ate dinner with their daughter Julie" suggests the two have more than one daughter and that on this occasion they dined with the daughter named Julie. But "The two ate dinner with their daughter, Julie" suggests the two have only one daughter. "Julie" becomes a nonessential phrase that must be set off with a comma.

·         Comma with attribution: Use a comma to introduce attribution. For example: "The getaway car was blue, the witness said." Also: "The getaway car was blue, according to the witness." "The getaway car was blue, the witness told the prosecutor."

Comma splice: A comma splice occurs when a writer erroneously uses a mere comma to join or "splice" two complete sentences. A complete sentence has a subject and a verb and can make sense when read all by itself. For example, "Fire destroyed the house" is a complete sentence. So is "The family escaped unharmed." Now, suppose you wanted to put these two complete sentences together to form a single sentence. You must not do so by merely sticking a comma between them, as in "Fire destroyed the house, the family escaped unharmed." You would have created a comma splice. Instead, join the two complete sentences in one of the following ways:

·         Use a semicolon. For example, "Fire destroyed the house; the family escaped unharmed." Not a good option for leads, because semicolons tend to interrupt a lead's flow.

·         Use a comma and a conjunction like "and," "but," "or," "nor," "for," or "yet." For example: "Fire destroyed the house, and the family escaped unharmed."

·         Use a semicolon and a conjunctive adverb like "however" or "therefore." For example: "Fire destroyed the house; however, the family escaped unharmed." Again, this is not a good option for leads, because the semicolon tends to interrupt the lead's flow. Note that it's incorrect to join the two sentences with a comma and a conjunctive adverb, as in, "Fire destroyed the house, however the family escaped unharmed."

Compose, comprise, constitute: Follow these guidelines:

·         Compose means to create or put together. You compose a song, for instance, or a committee can be composed of seven members.

·         Comprise means to contain, include all, or embrace. Use it only in the active voice with a direct object: The committee comprises seven members.

·         Constitute can mean "to make up" and is the best choice when neither compose or comprise seems appropriate. The five votes constituted a majority on the nine-member committee.

Currently: Think hard before using this word. It's usually unnecessary in present progressive tense constructions like "is currently saying" or "are currently doing." If you "are saying," then you "are currently saying." The idea of "currently" is included in the verb tense's meaning, so the word "currently" is unnecessary. About the only time you need "currently" is when you need to emphasize a contract between how things are right now and how they used to be or will be. For example:

·         She would like to win a Grammy some day, but she's currently simply enjoying her music.

·         He was an accounting major but currently is pursuing a media writing course.

Dangling modifier: A dangling modifier occurs when the connection between a phrase and what it's supposed to be describing is vague or nonexistent. The classic example is the phrase, "This morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas." Obviously, the writer meant he was wearing pajamas this morning when he shot an elephant. But it takes only a little imagination to picture an elephant charging about while wearing the man's pajamas -- and not much more to picture the poor man wearing the pajamas while the elephant charges around somewhere inside them. The confusion arises because there's no clear connection between the phrase "in my pajamas" and the idea in the sentence that the phrase is supposed to be describing.

Not all dangling modifiers make you laugh. Many just make you scratch your head and wonder what the author is trying to say. For example, in the sentence "The truck was following the car with a trailer," it's impossible to tell whether the car or the truck was pulling the trailer. "The truck was towing a trailer and following the car" would be clearer, as would "The truck was following the car, which was towing a trailer."

Dates: Use figures, not words, and don't include "st," "nd," "rd" and the like. In other words, Sept. 1, not Sept. 1st. or Sept. first. Also:

·         If you're talking about a date within seven days of the article's publication date, use the day of the week rather than the calendar date. So, if a story is going to run on May 10, and May 10 is a Tuesday, then something happening on May 12 should be reported as happening on "Thursday," not on "May 12." And something that happened on May 9 should be reported as having happened on "Monday," not on "May 9."

·         Omit the year if the date is within 12 months of the date on which the article will be published. In other words, "Sept. 1" standing alone means "the next Sept. 1 coming up."

Demonstrative adjectives: Letting demonstrative adjectives -- words like "this" or "that" -- stand alone can reduce a sentence's clarity and lead to confusion. These words need something to refer to. "This *book*," or "that *chair*," for example, not merely "this" or "that."

Dimentions: Always use figures. For example: The 6-foot-8-inch player. The player is 6 feet 8 inches tall.

Direct address: A term that means speaking directly to readers with first- or second-person pronouns like "I," "we," or "you." Direct address is inappropriate for newspaper writing, but OK, and even encouraged, in broadcast writing. Some details:

·         Newspaper writing: Using direct address outside of direct quotes attributed to others distracts the reader by drawing his or her attention to you, the author, and away from the story you are telling. It's also kind of hard to use an "I," "we," or "you" without inserting your personal opinions -- something you should never do in a print news story. Opinion columnists often use direct address pronouns, but reporters writing news stories shouldn't.

·         Broadcast writing: Direct address is more acceptable in broadcast writing - particularly in the lead of a story. Something like "Your property tax bill is about to jump 10 percent" wouldn't fly as a lead with most newspaper editors, but a broadcast news director would love it.

Dramatic unity: In broadcast writing, stories follow a "dramatic unity" structure. The lead emphasizes the very latest angle. The middle part gives the background needed to understand the story. The end talks about the consequences of what happened and/or what will happen next.

Elements (of a lead): The "elements" of a straight-news lead are the "who," "what," "where," "when," "why" and "how" of the story. Every straight news lead should include, at minimum, the "what," "when" and "where." The "who" and "why and how" should be included, too, if they represent newsworthy aspects of the story.  

Fewer/less: Use "fewer" when you're talking about things that can be counted individually: fewer buckets of water, for example. Use "less" when you're talking about something that can't really be subdivided: less water, for example. You can count buckets, but you can't count water.

First person: Avoid making a "guest appearance" in your own story through unattributed first-person pronouns like "I," "me," "we," or "our." For example:

City officials broke ground Monday on a redevelopment of Moi Avenue, I was there watching as our mayor proudly plunged a shovel into the soft dirt and told me that beauty and functionality were about to return to that blighted section of town. We all applauded the mayor's comments. (Wrong)

Where it is necessary to use pronouns, use third-person pronouns like he, she, it, him, her, they, who, whom, whoever, whomever. These words help convey objectivity to your readers.

First verb (of a lead): Writing a good lead depends greatly on choosing a good first verb. The first verb should:

·         Be active voice, not passive voice.

·         Sum up the most important "what" of the story.

·         Note that the most important "what" is almost never the fact that someone announced or said something.

·         The most important "what" will always be what the person announced or said.

·         For example, instead of writing, "Mayor John Ndiragu announced today that city workers will receive a pay raise," write, "City workers will receive a pay raise, Mayor John Ndiragu announced today." In the first lead, "announced" is the first verb. But in the second lead, "will receive" is the first verb. See how the second lead more quickly conveys what the story is about?

·         Appear within the first seven (or so) words of the lead. (This rule forces you to get to the news quickly and save the lesser important "when," "where" and "how and why" elements for later in the lead.)

Fractions: Spell out fractions and use a hyphen: one-fourth, two-thirds, three-thirds, etc.

Fund raising, fund-raising, fund-raiser. According to AP Style, the following usages are correct:

·         Fund raising is difficult.

·         They planned a fund-raising campaign.

·         A fund-raiser was hired.

Gerund: A gerund is a verbal that ends in -ing and acts as a noun. Standing, sitting, reaching, talking, writing, listening and saying are all gerunds.

·         If a noun or pronoun precedes a gerund, the noun or pronoun must be made possessive. For example: "I didn't approve of John's sending you that letter." "John" is a noun, and because it comes in front of the gerund "sending," "John" has to be possessive. Also, "I didn't approve of his sending you that letter." "His" is a pronoun and must be possessive because it precedes the gerund "sending."

Graf (paragraph): Paragraphs in news writing should be very short by usual standards -- two or three sentences long at most. Often, a graf is a single sentence. Short grafs make the story look shorter and, therefore, easier to read.

Headline: A headline is a sentence or phrase that appears above a print news story. It's usually set in type larger than the type of the story, and it's job is to call attention to the story and to give readers a quick idea of what the story is about. In broadcast news, headlines take the form of "teasers" read either at the beginning of the newscast, just before or after a commercial break during the newscast, or during breaks between other programming prior to the newscast.. They sound like this: "Police arrest a suspect in last night's homicide. We'll have the story at 9," or "Up next, police arrest a suspect in last night's double homicide." Print news headlines usually are written in present tense, even when the action they're talking about took place in the past. They also usually omit articles like "a," "an," or "the" and conjunctions like "and" and "but." Like this: "Police arrest suspect in double homicide."

Hole (in a story): If an editor tells you there's a "hole" in your story, the editor means that an important piece of information is missing. For example, you might have forgotten to include the "when" or the "where," or perhaps your story leaves some obvious question unanswered.

Hopefully: Use "hopefully" as an adverb, not as an adjective. "The hungry dog gazed hopefully at the boy's sandwich." The adjective form is "hopeful," as in "The hopeful dog gazed at the boy's sandwich." The most common misuse of "hopefully" is in sentences such as "Hopefully, we will finish up on Monday" when the intended meaning is "We hope to finish Monday," not "We will finish Monday with hope in our hearts."

Impact: Avoid using "impact" as a verb. Don't, for example, say that the slowing economy impacted the state's sales tax collections. Say instead that the slowing economy affected or had an impact on the state's sales tax collections.

In order to: Inherently wordy. Use only "to." In other words, don't write, "The president flew to Europe in order to conduct the negotiations personally." Instead, write, "The president flew to Europe to conduct the negotiations personally."

·         Irony / ironic. "Irony" is a fairly complicated literary concept, and beginning writers tend to label as "ironic" events and situations that really aren't. Part of the temptation lies in the fact that the word "ironically" can be used as transition.

Its, it's: Beginning writers often confuse the words "its" and "it's." Here's the difference between the two:

·         "Its" is the possessive of the pronoun "it." For example: "The dog wagged its tail."

·         "It's" is a contraction of the words "it is." For example: "It's a small, brown dog."

Majority: Figuring out whether this word takes a singular or a plural verb can be tricky. (Here are the guidelines in AP style):

·         "Majority" requires a singular verb when used alone: "The majority has made its decision."

·         When used before an "of" construction, "majority" requires either a singular or a plural verb, depending on the sense of the sentence. For example:

·         A majority of two votes is not adequate to control the committee.

·         A majority of the houses on the block were destroyed.

Millions, billions: Use a figure, followed by the word "million" or "billion." Like this: 4 million, 16 billion.

Months: Abbreviate months that appear with a specific date, but only if the month's name has more than five letters in it. For example: My birthday is in June. My birthday is June 12. But: My birthday is in September. My birthday is Sept. 12.

·         Also, don't use 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc. in dates. Use 1, 2, 3, etc. 

Most: Beware of using "most" when you mean merely "a lot" or "many." The word "most" means 51 percent or more. If you write "most," make sure you have solid evidence that such a majority exists.

Over/More than: Use "over" for spatial relationships, like "a bridge led over the river." Use "more than" for amounts, like "The company earned more than Ksh2 billion last year."

Names: In newswriting, you generally give both a person's first and last names the first time you mention him or her. After that, you use only the person's last name. Like this: "Another witness, John Ndiragu, said he spotted two men running from the scene. Ndiragu, who was driving by at the time, said he saw ..." Also, Always double check the spelling of a person's name. For most people, getting their name in the newspaper is a big deal, and they can get pretty uptight if you goof up the spelling.

Numerals: The general rule is: Spell out one through nine, and use figures for 10 or more. Exceptions to the rule abound. For instance:

·         Always use figures for dimensions, ages, years, percentages and dates, except when such figures begin a sentence

·         Also, spell out numbers that begin a sentence (unless the number is a year, like 1998.)

·         Also, remember that the "spell out one through nine" rule applies to ordinal numbers, too. In other words, you should spell out first through ninth, and use figures for 10th or more.

·         In broadcast writing, spell out one through nine and use figures for 10 to 999. For numbers above 999, spell out "hundred," "thousand," million," "billion" and so forth, and use a hyphen to combine these terms with numerals: one thousand (for 1,000), 15-hundred (for 1,500), 18-thousand (for 18,000), 10-million (for 10,000,000), etc. See also: dollars.

Only: Be careful where you place this powerful modifier. It will tend to modify the word that comes immediately after it, so be sure the word that comes after it is the one you want it to modify. For example, the sentence "She only skimmed the thicker reports" means "She only skimmed the thicker reports; she didn't read them thoroughly." It does not mean "She skimmed only the thicker reports instead of skimming all of the reports."

Organizations: Generally, capitalize and spell out the names of organizations the first time you mention them in a story. After that, you can abbreviate the name. For example: "Inspectors from the Traffic Department Administration are investigating the crash. So far, no leads have turned up, an TDA spokesman said Friday."

·         Some the abbreviated names of some organizations -- the FBI and the CIA, ODM, PNU for example -- are so widely recognized that it's not necessary to spell them out. For guidance, look up the listings for individual organizations in your AP Stylebook.

·         Also, avoid using a whole lot of abbreviations. Too many CIAs, FBIs, NAACPs, KNUTs,KUPPETs and the like make your writing look like alphabet soup.

·         Also, don't put an organization's initials in parentheses immediately after the organizations's name. It's better to give the full name of the organization on first reference, then use a one- or two-word "tag" to refer to the organization on second reference. Like this: "The Student Government Association will consider the measure during its monthly meeting Thursday night. Several members of the association have expressed support for the measure." See how "association" becomes a second-reference "tag" for "Student Government Association"? Once you establish a tag, use it consistently throughout the story. In other words, use "association" to refer to "Student Government Association" throughout the rest of the story, and don't use "association" to refer to anything else in the story.

Paraphrase: Paraphrasing is simply saying what someone else said, but in your own words instead of in their words. Suppose, for example, the police chief says, "This city's officers are some of the most well-prepared officers in the country. They're trained better than most officers. We also equip them better than most officers." It's not that great of a quote. You could write a paraphrase that said what he said, only better: The police chief called the city's officers some of the best-trained, best-equipped officers in the country.

Parallel structure: Parallel structure helps a reader see the relationships between ideas in a sentence by framing the ideas in similar grammatical structures. Here's an example: "The bank robber burst through the door, pulled a handgun and ordered everyone onto the floor." All three verbs, "burst," "pulled" and "ordered" are related -- they're all things that the robber did. The fact that they're all in past tense emphasizes the fact that they're related. The sentence also flows smoothly. Here's another example: " Bursting through the door, pulling a handgun and ordering everyone onto the floor, the bank robber threw a sack at a teller and demanded that she fill it with cash." Here, the verbals "bursting," "pulling" and "ordering" all are related because they happened before the sentence's main actions: "threw" and demanded." Other words besides verbs and verbals can be put in parallel, too. Here's an example of several prepositional phrases put in parallel: "The vehicle plunged over the guardrail, down the embankment and into the river." Pairs of words like "both/and" and "not only/but also" can enhance parallel structure: "He was both tired and hungry." "She rescued not only the cat but also the dog."

Partial quote: Avoid using a partial quote. A partial quote is a quote that picks up in mid-sentence. Like this:

The detective said the two suspects "make Bonnie and Clyde look like a traveling circus. These guys are elusive, calculating and, above all, deadly."

It's far more elegent to set up a quote by preceding it with a graf that indicates who is about to speak and generally what he or she is about to say, then present the quote as a complete sentence in a separate graf. See Quotes for details and an example.

Parentheticals: Avoid using them. Parentheticals are little words inserted - usually in brackets or parentheses - to help clarify the quote's meaning. For example:

John Ndiragu said, "He (the mayor) will need to review the ordinance thoroughly before signing it. But the mayor and the City Council have agreed in principle to what the ordinance says."

Such parentheticals interrupt the flow of the writing and, when put into print, look ugly and distracting, especially if there are a lot of them. It's better to introduce or "set up" the quote in a way that makes the parenthetical unnecessary. For example, a simple paraphrase will often work:

Smith said the mayor will need to review the ordinance before signing it.
"But the mayor and the City Council have agreed in principle to what the ordinance says," Ndiragu said.

Passive voice/Active voice: Avoid passive voice verb structure in news writing, especially in your lead's first verb. Passive voice is a subject-verb structure in which the subject is having (or has had or will have) something done to it. For example: "The house was destroyed by fire." "House" is the subject, and it had something done to it. It "was destroyed." The opposite of passive voice is active voice. Active voice is a subject-verb structure in which the subject is doing (or has done or will do) something. For example: "Fire destroyed the house." "Fire" is the subject, and it did something. It destroyed the house. By implication, active-voice verbs must be action verbs. Often, switching a sentence from passive voice to active voice means figuring out what your subject can do and making it do that.

Possessives: The Associated Press Stylebook includes an excellent discussion of how to handle every possible possessive situation. Here are a few of the more commonly encountered ones, though:

·         To form the possessive of a singular common noun not ending in "s," add an apostrophe and an "s." Like this: "The course's syllabus."

·         To form the possessive of a singular common noun ending in "s," add an apostrophe and an "s." Like this: "The class's professor."

·         To form the possessive of a singular proper noun ending in "s," add an apostrophe only. Like this: "Moses' law," or "Jesus' parables."

·         To form the possessive of a plural common noun ending in "s," add an apostrophe. Like this: "The boys' toys."

·         Use the possessive form of a noun that precedes a gerund or gerund phrase. A gerund is simply a verb that has "-ing" on the end: walking, talking, cooking, writing, etc. Example: "A last-minute compromise prevented the workers' walking off the job."

·         Avoid the mistake of confusing the possessive form of a noun with the plural form of a noun. Correct: I see a boy's coat. I see two boys. Not correct: I see a boys coat. I see two boy's.

Prefixes: Generally, use a hyphen only if:

·         The prefix ends with the same vowel that begins the word (For example: pre-exist, re-examine. Cooperate and coordinate are exceptions to this rule)

·         The word that follows the prefix is capitalized. (For example, anti-American.)

·         The word has two prefixes. (For example, sub-subparagraph). (Back to top)

Pronoun case: There are two groups, or "cases," of pronouns: objective case and nominative case. You must decide which case to use by figuring out what job the pronoun will be doing in the sentence. Some guidelines:

·         Nominative case

·         The nominative case pronouns are: I, you, he, she, it, we, you (meaning "you all") and they.

·         Use a nominative case pronoun if:

·         The pronoun will be the subject of the sentence, as in "I am going home now."

·         The pronoun will be a predicate nominative, as in "It was we who discovered the mistake. (A predicate nominative is a noun that comes after a non-action verb and renames the subject. We, for example, renames It, the subject of the sentence. The verb, was, is a nonaction verb.)

·         Objective case

·         The objective case pronouns are: me, you, him, her, it, us, you (meaning "you all") and them. Note that the pronouns "you," "it," and "you (meaning "you all")" have identical nominative and objective case forms.

·         Use an objective case pronoun if:

·         The pronoun will be the direct object of a verb, as in "My father gave me this toolbox." (You wouldn't say, "My father gave I this tookbox," because I is a nominative case pronoun.)

·         The pronoun will be the direct object of a preposition, as in "The car swerved around him. (You wouldn't say, "The car swerved around he," because "he" is a nominative case pronoun. A preposition, by the way, is any word like "around," "over," "to," "from," "at," etc. that shows some kind of connection between two other words. The best definition of a preposition I've ever heard is "anywhere a mouse can go." (Back to top)

Quotes: Be selective about what you choose to present as a direct quote. Nine times out of 10, you can use a paraphrase to do a better job than the source did of saying what the source said.

·         When you use a direct quote, it's important to use a quote that forms a complete sentence. In other words, don't use a partial quote.

·         Always set up a quote by preceding it with a paragraph that:

·         Indicates who is about to talk

·         Gives a general paraphrase of what he or she is about to say

·         Then present the quote in its own paragraph. Here's an example (also note the punctuation):

Detective Jason Otiso said the suspects, both wanted in five states on charges of murder, kidnapping and robbery, should be considered armed and dangerous.
"These two guys make Bonnie and Clyde look like a traveling circus," Otiso said. "These guys are elusive, calculating and, above all, deadly."
Police described the pair as traveling in a stolen, dark blue Ford Explorer. A reward of Ksh.50,000 has been offered for information leading to their arrests.

·         Note how the first graf indicates who's about to speak (Detective Jason Otiso) and gives an idea of what he's about to say (the suspects should be considered armed and dangerous). The second graf presents the quote. The "Smith said" is optional. It's pretty clear that Smith is talking. This format helps the reader keep track of who is saying what in a story. One of the most confusing things you can do in mass media writing is present two quotes, back to back, from two separate sources without indicating that the speaker has changed.

Redundancy: A word is redundant if it adds no meaning to the sentence or phrase it is part of. For example, the word "completely" is redundant in the phrase "completely destroyed." Things can't be "partly destroyed." The word "destroyed" is absolute. Similarly, there's no point in writing "3 p.m. in the afternoon." Use either "3 p.m." or "3 in the afternoon. Other redundancies are more subtle: "joined together," for example, or "collapsed down." Things can't join in any way besides together, and things can't collapse in any way but down.

Run-on sentence: A run-on sentence is a sentence consisting of two or more independent clauses with no appropriate connections between them. For example, "The driver lost control of the car the vehicle smashed into the guard rail." is a run-on sentence, because two independent clauses, "The driver lost control of the car" and "The vehicle smashed into the guard rail" have been run together with no connecting punctuation or words. The easiest way to fix a run-on sentence is to make each independent clause a separate sentence. "The driver lost control of the car. The vehicle smashed into the guard rail." It's also possible to fix a run-on sentence by using the techniques described under "comma splice."

Said: Use this neutral verb for most attribution jobs. Other words like "stated," "admitted" "asserted," etc. carry connotations that may be inaccurate. "Stated," for instance, suggests that whatever was said was said under some kind of duress. "Admitted" suggests the speaker had been trying to conceal what was said. "Claimed" suggests that what the person is claiming is untrue.

·         Also use "said" to qualify statements made about what someone thinks or believes. For example, writing that "The convicted rapist is sorry for his crimes" may or may not be accurate. It's more accurate to say "The convicted rapist said he is sorry for his crimes."

·         Also remember that the word "that" usually is unnecessary after "said." Use "that" after "said" only if some other word -- a time element, for example -- comes between "said" and the description of what was said. For example: "The president's aide said Friday that the bill is as good as dead."

Semicolon: Semicolons have two main uses:

·         Joining two independent clauses, as in "Billy opened the chips; I poured the soda." The two clauses are independent because each has a subject and a verb (Billy/opened, I/poured).

·         Separating items in a series of things if the things involve commas. For example, "His favorite breakfast foods include ham, eggs and toast; pancakes, syrup and sausage; and bagels, cream cheese and juice."

·         Generally avoid using semicolons in leads, especially if you're doing so to join two independent clauses, as in "Fire destroyed a Nanyuki home yesterday; investigators suspect arson." The structure puts two complete thoughts on equal footing in the lead, leaving readers to wonder which is more important. It's better to make one idea clearly dominant: "A Nanyuki home burned to the ground yesterday in what investigators think may be a case of arson." or "An arsonist may have set the blaze that destroyed a Nanyuki home yesterday, according to investigators."

Sentence fragment: A sentence fragment is a phrase that is presented as a sentence but lacks a subject and/or a verb.

·         For example: "The firefighter crawled through the smoke-filled, inky black room. Groping for the missing boy." The phrase "groping for the missing boy" is capitalized and punctuated as if it were a sentence. But it has no subject and no verb. The idea it conveys would fit better if expressed as part of the preceding sentence: "Groping for the missing boy, the firefighter crawled through the smoke-filled, inky black room."

·         Writers sometimes use sentence fragments for dramatic effect. For example: "The firefighter crawled through the smoke-filled, inky black room. Exhausted, disoriented , terrified, but determined." The latter phrase is a fragment used for dramatic effect. Avoid using fragments this way unless you're sure doing so is appropriate. And do so only occasionally.

Since/because: Use "since" for time relationships, as in "I haven't seen you since last year." Use "because" for cause-and-effect relationships, like "Because my car broke down, I had to catch a bus." Don't make the common mistake of using "since" to mean "because," as in "Since my car broke down, I had to catch a bus."

Spelling: Media writers take spelling pretty seriously. At the very least, run the spelling checker routine available in whatever application you're using to compose your assignments. If you're unsure of a word's spelling, look the word up in a dictionary. Nothing will discredit your writing quicker than crummy spelling.

Suffered/sustained: In newspaper parlance, buildings, cars and other inanimate objects "sustain damage." People or animals "suffer injuries."

That: The word "that" can cause trouble in at least two ways:

First, generally, omit "that" after any tense of the verb "to say." For example, "The president said he had signed the bill." Keep "that," however, if a time element appears directly after any tense of the verb "to say." For example, "The president said Monday that he had signed the bill." Also keep "that" if it is followed by a subordinate clause beginning with a conjunction like after, although, because, before, in addition to, until, and while. For example: "The president said that until he gets Congress' support for his Social Security package, he will refuse to sign the Media bill."

Second, know when to use "that" and when to use "which." Both words can be used to introduces a clause or phrase. For example:

·         Police found two cars in the suspect's garage. They searched the car that matched the description of the car seen leaving the scene of the crime.

·         Police found two cars in the suspect's garage. They searched the red one, which matched the description of the car seen leaving the scene of the crime.

Notice how the italicized phrases, although identical, serve different purposes. Knowing whether to use "that" or "which" depends on figuring out which kind of purpose the phrase or clause is serving.

In the first example, the phrase is specifying which car the police searched. Without it, you would have no way of knowing which of the two cars police had searched. That property makes the phrase "restrictive" or "essential," and such phrases are introduced by "that."

In the second example, the phrase is providing extra information about the car. Without it, you still would know which car the police had searched. They searched the red one. The phrase simply clues you in to the fact that the red car matched the description of a car seen leaving the crime scene. Such "nonessential" or "nonrestrictive" phrases are introduced by "which." Notice also that "which" usually must be preceded by a comma in such usages.

The/A: Putting "the" in front of a noun in a news story usually signals that you have alluded to that noun somewhere earlier in the story, or that readers are already familiar - perhaps from earlier stories - with whatever the "the" is referring to. If neither is the case, readers will be confused. Consider this example of a poorly written lead and second graf:

One person died Friday afternoon in a single-car accident on Tom Mboya Street.
The boy, 6-year-old Jack Tui, was pronounced dead at the scene of the accident. His parents, Jim and Jane Tui, both of Maimuna, are listed in critical condition at Marie Stopes Medical Center.

Your reaction upon reading the two grafs was probably something like, "Boy? What boy are we talking about, here? There's been no mention of a boy." That's precisely the problem. Consider how adding an allusion to the boy earlier in the story helps things out:

A boy died Friday afternoon in a single-car accident on Main Street.
The boy, 6-year-old Brenden Smith, was pronounced dead at the scene of the accident. His parents, Jim and Jane Tui, both of Maimuna, are listed in critical condition at Marie Stopes Medical Center.

Similarly, using "the" in front of a noun or noun phrase in a news story can imply that the noun or noun phrase has been talked about in previous stories and should be well known to the reader. If such is not the case, the reader will be confused. Consider this lead:

The expansion of City Hall has hit an expensive snag, the project's contractor said Monday.

The above lead suggests that the reader already should know about "the expansion." If this is the first-ever story about the expansion, the reader had no way of knowing about it.

Time: Use figures with no ":00" for on-the-hour times. For example: 10 a.m., 11 p.m., 5 a.m., 5 p.m. You also can use 5 o'clock in the afternoon, 10 o'clock in the morning, etc. Express minutes past an hour by using a colon. For example: 10:01 a.m., 10:59 p.m., 5:15 p.m., etc. Some other tips:

·         Express 12 p.m. using the more-readily-understood "noon" and 12 a.m. as the more-readily-understood "midnight." Many people mistakenly think 12 a.m. means noon and 12 p.m. means midnight. The assume "a.m." indicates daytime and "p.m." indicates night time.

Transition: Transition links each paragraph of a news story to the preceding paragraph and provides the momentum necessary to keep the reader reading. Transition also helps link sentences within a paragraph. Some types of transition include:

1. Time sequence:

After screeching through the turn from Main Street onto Broad, the speeding car barreled through a red light at the Waiyaki intersection.
Hitting speeds of up to 80 kph, the car then careened up General Kago Street, finally smashing into a utility pole near Banda Lane.

2. Repeating a sentence structure:

Johnson said she has tried and tried to call attention to the problem.
She has written 25 letters to various government officials.
She has made countless phone calls.
She has even taken time off work to stake out the mayor’s office.

3. Using contrast and/or comparison:

Officials insist the campus has plenty of parking spaces.
However, cars could be seen Monday parked in grassy medians, in front of fire hydrants, on sidewalks and even, in one case, right in the middle of the street.

4. Using geographic sequence:

A spacious lobby greets visitors to the new library.
Across the lobby, stairs lead to an airy reading room and computer center on the second floor.
From here, visitors can take any of four elevators to the stacks on the building’s six other floors.

5. Using pronouns and demonstrative adjectives:

“This ordinance absolutely must pass,” the mayor declared.
He threatened to resign in protest if it didn’t.
That ultimatum irked the council members, who promptly decided to call his bluff.

6. Using conjunctive adverbs:

Developers are applying for a permit to build a landfill on the site.
Meanwhile, environmentalists are organizing opposition to the plan.

(Other conjunctive adverbs: accordingly, consequently, moreover, therefore, however, etc. Be aware that many conjunctive adverbs imply a particular relationship between the thoughs they link. "Therefore," for example, suggests that the second idea is a result or outcome of the first idea. Use these words only when their connotations are accurate.)

7. Using numbers:

Getting healthy involves some basic principles, the trainer said.
First, cut the fat out of your diet. Hamburgers, pizza and bacon are OK, but only as occasional treats, he said.
Second, exercise. As little as 30 minutes a day can make a big difference, he said.

8. Echoing words or grafs from the preceding graf

The accident left 41-year-old Jane Okosi battling for her life in the Maria Medical Center’s intensive care unit.
Okosi, a mother of three, suffered head injuries, a crushed leg and a broken back, a hospital nursing supervisor said.

Very: A word to be avoided. Convey degrees instead by choosing the correct word. Someone who is very angry, for example, is incensed or furious.

Vote tabulations: Use this form: "The Council voted 5-2 against the proposal."

Who/That: Use "who" to refer to people, as in "He's the one who wrote the report" or "They're the ones who wrote the report." Also use "who" to refer to animals that have a name: "Lassie was a dog who starred in a 1980s TV show." Use "that" to refer both to objects and to animals that don't have specific names. For example, "Here's the report that I wrote," and "There's the dog that I was telling you about."

Wordiness: Say what you need to say in as few words as possible. For example, don't write, "The man proceeded to leave the building." Instead, write "The man left the building."

Bll413: writing for the media.2009